Sunday 9th June 2013

Yes, You'll Always Find Him In The Kitchen At Parties

I have decided that, rather than starting this by raking over the barely glowing embers of the past, I will, instead, start by peering myopically into the near future. The reason for this is because, I, at the grand old age of 42, am going to my first convention. And I'm terrified.

Now I'm sure that to the two people (and one of them includes me) who are currently reading this I sound ridiculous. But the problem is, I'm going on my own. You see, I understand at a basic level that other people probably don't enjoy going into a room full of strangers alone, but that's really something in the abstract. For me, the feeling of dread when it comes to the horror of small talk is palpable, a sweaty-palmed, near-nausea inducing panic that has, for the past 30 years, kept me away from conventions and from the larger swell of fandom in general. Don't get me wrong, this isn't isolated to Doctor Who. This is something I've had to deal with since forever. The big difference seems to be that, since I went through the diagnosis process, or to put it another way, since I gained some context on my past, I now feel ready to reclaim some of that past that this condition has stolen from me. Hence, I'm going to a convention.

Doctor Who, has, for me, been an intensely private matter for many years and the big problem looming at the heart of this conundrum is this; I don't know how to be a fan. No clue. Not the first idea. Certainly not around other fans. Now, I can imagine the chorus of "just go and enjoy yourself" being shouted at me right now, but imagine going to a family wedding, where every person in the room knows every other person in the room, and they have all known each other for over thirty years. That's what going into a room with new people feels like to me. A minefield of unspoken rules and etiquette, everyone working from a body language script that I'm unable to read. Or to put it another way, HELP!

What I would like from you lovely folk are some do's and don't's, some obvious "making a tit of yourself" avoidance schemes, especially when you meet someone from the series at a meet and greet (Sophie and Fraser specifically).

And one last thing. I am SOOOOO excited about going I can hardly type.